Table for one, please

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I had just moved to Canada in 2021, and everything felt new, overwhelming, and a little lonely. One afternoon, I went out for coffee and sat on a bench nearby. I didn’t use my phone; I just let myself sit with all the thoughts swirling in my head. Fear, excitement, uncertainty…they were all there at once. And then, slowly, I noticed something surprising: I didn’t mind my own company. Half an hour passed, and I felt calmer, more present, more myself than I had in days. That bench became my first solo date spot, even if I didn’t know the meaning behind solo dating at the time.

I had no friends yet, so I started going out alone. I remember I booked a reservation at a restaurant named Milestones. As I entered in a cute outfit very excited to pamper myself, I said, “Table for one, please.” The server looked at me and asked, “Oh, someone’s joining later?” I felt a little awkward but I smiled and said, “No, it’s just me.” Fine-dining felt intimidating in the beginning, but cafes were easier as everyone was caught up in their own world, and sitting alone finally started to feel natural.

Then I discovered a YouTuber, Tam Kaur. Her vlogs gave me the push to make solo dates a ritual. I started to understand the concept of it fully, I would go out more often, leave my phone on side, sit with my thoughts or my journal. Solo dating taught me patience, presence, and joy in little things, the sunlight landing on my table, the first sip of an Aperol spritz, the soft hum of conversations around me, and the quiet satisfaction of ordering exactly what I wanted without compromise.

Four years later, solo dating isn’t just a habit, it’s a love affair with myself. If you’re reading this, reserve that table, find your own bench, and realize your company can be more than enough too.

After all, no one can treat you or your thoughts better than you can.